Why girls don’t like me

I was raised as a tom boy. For as long as I can remember, my closest friends have always been male. I tend to be the younger but older sister type for which they feel the need to father and protect.

It is not that I do not get along with females. They choose not to get along with me. Women prefer my company, but girls often tell me I am intimidating. When I first met my buddy, Kristine, she said she knew my people scale went from -1 to 0 to 1, and that everyone begins at zero with me. She said she was bound and determined to be a one, not a zero.

When we became friends, we discovered we had a lot in common. Both easy going, care free, laid back introverts. Debbie C. said when she met me, she knew I had extraordinarily high standards for myself and others. She further stated she was intimidated by me, because she knew she could not live up to my standards. My standards are for myself alone. I am an overachiever who does not tolerate excuses and petty nonsense.

To distinguish the differences between girls and women, we must rely upon the psychosocial stages of development as theorized by Erik Erikson. Age in itself is a state of mind. A girl is insecure, relies on opinions of “friends” to define her esteem, and is typically needy. Girls travel in packs due to their insecurities. They need cliques, because they are uncomfortable with and fear being alone.

Women are confident on their own, secure, require little to no external maintenance, and do not involve themselves in petty competitions for affection. At age eight, my best and closest friends were in their sixties through eighties. It has been that way throughout my life. I do not identify with girls, and I have never experienced PMS. For years, I thought it was a myth females used to excuse their mood swings and neediness. I have often been told I have had reverse PMS in that I am intense throughout the month and relaxed during that one week.

At the firm holiday party, the firm administrator, Sue R., did not recognize me. I was wearing a strapless party dress. My hair and makeup were done slightly. She said, “If I looked like you, I would go to work like that everyday.” My response, “If I looked like this at work everyday, I’d expect to earn $300 hourly for being a model. You hired me to do my job not to be eye candy.” As a paralegal, I billed 10-16 hours daily. The others billed 2-6. Brains over beauty and extroversion.

In fact, a subject for a future post is positive and negative deviance.

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